Just The Way I Am...

So here's the deal... I am super indecisive and always have been but, when it comes down to the nitty gritty serious stuff I usually know what to do. Lately though I feel like I am more in the dark then ever, and that I am on my own stage acting out a play that I don't have the script for. I've always had a plan... a very strict plan of what I was going to do in my life and how I was going to achieve the goals I have. Lately however, those plans have been slightly altered. I don't know what next year or even next week brings. It is so weird to just walk into the unknown every day. It's a journey that I am scared of. Scared of what the future brings and that I am not following exactly what is in the plan that Heavenly Father has in store for me... I guess I am a bit scared of what the answers to my prayers are going to be. I know it's silly. I'm a bit of a psycho and don't know why I have been blessed with so many great friends. Speaking of good  friends I would like to acknowledge some of them right now.

Steph Sampson- she has become one of my best friends. I have only known her for a short amount of time but, I feel like she knows me just as well, if not better than people I have known for years. She has been a great blessing of a roommate and there is no coincidence that I am living under the same roof as she is. It's sounds weird but, I feel like she is my soul mate.

Steven Warby- He has been a great example to me and such a comfort. I can talk to him about just about anything. He always has the best interests in mind for me and is honest about what he thinks.

James Hawker- Even thought this kid is on his mission I would feel really bad if I didn't include him in here. I have known him since before high school and have spent many hours with him. I miss him every day but, I know what he is doing is right and that he is having experiences that will help him in his life post mission. I look forward to hearing from him each week.

Mary-Cate Greene- I have known this girl for awhile... she has been there for me through think and thin and I know that she will always remain a loyal friend to me and be there in time of need. She is one of the most caring people I know and I value her very much.

Paige Rasmussen- I have known her since Elementary school and I am so glad we've become such good friends in college. She is definitely a ball of spit fire and sass but, sometimes I like that in a friend. She is honest and caring always.

Heather Allen- This girl is so fun to be around! I rock out with her at hard core concerts. Her laugh is so contagious and being around her just puts me in a good mood. She also does my hair really well and while she does we have such great chats. :)

Laura Thorley- she is my lesbian lover whom I devote much love for. We make good jokes together and most people think they are inappropriate but, I find them funny and that's all that matters. I'm so stoked that she is moving to Salt Lake this Spring so I can hang out with her more this summer :)

Alan Harris- He knows me better than I know myself sometimes. I love and care about him very much. He shows me each day how he feels. Being away from him is hard but, I really enjoy staying in contact with him constantly. He is the most sincere person I have ever met. We have been through a lot the past seven months and I know that we will probably go through much more yet I am still standing beside him so scared and at the same time so excited because my hand is in his and there's nothing to worry about.

I also am so grateful for family. God was showing off when he made mine... Just sayin. My family can be loud, obnoxious, and the most loving I know. Though we are always sarcastic and at times get to the point of vulgarity I know that I could go to any of them with anything. We are so close to one another despite the distance I have from everyone.

Well it is getting late so I better stop blogging because I tend to say things I don't mean when I get tired... so that is all for today :)